Anger as a form of manipulation

Ever been with an angry person?

Yea. It’s not pleasant.

Anger, on one level, I think, is a form of manipulation. When someone’s angry at you, for example, they might show their anger using yelling, harsh gestures, hurtful words, all as a way to not only convery their anger, but also as a way to manipulate you into reacting a certain way. They may want you to fear them or might recognize that when they yell you back off to “keep the peace”, and so they learn to use anger as a form of emotional and behavioral manipulation.

I remember being very angry one day and I used the power of my anger to feel superior to someone. I yelled at them and told them exactly how I feel, but in a less-than-empathetic manner. And at the heart of my reaction was just a feeling that I wanted to control this person into reacting a certain way and “showing them who’s boss.” Well, guess what, I didnt show them anything except that I was being immature and unempathetic. Needless to say, the person and I didn’t speak for a week or two afterwards. Thankfully, the nature of out relationship was such that we were able to get past such juvenile behavior, make back up and forgive, and move on with our friendship.

Have you ever been in a situation where you either used anger to gain control or someone did that to you? What was the outcome?

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